I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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