Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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