He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
