how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
