You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Randomize
