Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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