yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
