i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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