This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We got so high we made milksteak
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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