We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
