i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you will always have a special place in my vag
a search helicopter?!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
