Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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