Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
