I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
