just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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