He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
