At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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