Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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