...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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