I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
