first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
