So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Randomize
