I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
