Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
