I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
