Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
