Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
