You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
