can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
