we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
