I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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