I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
