I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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