none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
