There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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