what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
