nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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