I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
