im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
