what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
