there's paper in my vomit.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
