Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
