Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
