Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
