Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
