im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
