Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Soap is not a condiment
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
