She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
