erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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