Got a toothbrush?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
