I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
